Replies: 1 Comment
thethinker said at 10:04 PM, 12.13.07:I never know how to respond when people say things like that. It's almost as if they only want to get a reaction out of you.
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Note: I am aware that this looks God awful in IE. Do yourself a favor and get you some Firefox before you get lost in the big scary world out there.
Wednesday, December 12th, 2007
Train tracks
Today, in the Park Street station, the guy who is always playing his guitar was there playing his guitar--acoustic versions of Christmas carols that had a whole bunch of people clapping and singing. I debated self-consciously whether I should go up and put a dollar in his case. Just as I determined that I would and looked down to my bag to get my wallet, the woman standing next to me tutted loudly.
"I hate this shit."
I looked up.
"Christmas, what a load of shit. What's the big deal. I could definitely do without it. It's just another day to sit inside your house doing nothing."
I wasn't sure if I should answer her, because it wouldn't be the first time I started talking rationally to a crazy person without realizing they were crazy. But she was looking me in the eye, so I shrugged optimistically.
"Sitting inside can be nice, sometimes."
"Not when it's all you do, it's not. Oh, no."
I nodded to say, Ah, yes, well, and unhanded my wallet. I took out my phone instead and hoped that there might be a message.
"I wouldn't even be here if I had it my way."
I clicked through my list of numbers like they were important.
"I wouldn't even be here if I had it my way. And you know what?" she said, a bit louder. "No one would miss me. No one."
I pushed my mouth to the side and leaned towards her. "I am sure people would miss you."
"No--they--wouldn't."
I pushed my mouth again and turned to watch the man play a really beautiful instrumental of "White Christmas" for a minute. I would miss you. That's what I nearly said. That's what I nearly said, just like I nearly put money in his guitar case.
Instead, my phone rang, and Addie told me that we were staying on the Green line, and I ran back up the stairs, towards the shopping malls and credit cards I know and away from a world I can only pretend to understand.