Replies: 1 Comment
katy said at 10:11 AM, 2.5.08:dont worry molly, we'll have lunches together and be "real metropolitian babe[s]" as your dad will call it, and live in our dream crate and barrel apartment while you write and i take pictures
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Note: I am aware that this looks God awful in IE. Do yourself a favor and get you some Firefox before you get lost in the big scary world out there.
Sunday, January 27th, 2008
At all
It's really interesting the way everyone clams up about it, like every person I've ever been in contact with has come to an agreement that this? Is not something we are going to talk about. Don't encourage her. It's perfectly all right for you to go on at length about your concerns, to tell me every little detail of every little exploit because it's action, it's drama, it's happening. But everyone's greatest fear is stagnancy, a reminder that not all things move forward. It sure is awkward for those two minutes out of the year that I actually pluck up the courage to address an issue that picks away at my brain all day, every day, isn't it? The eyes dart away as though to say, "Stop. It's cruel of you to do this to me. This. Isn't. Fair."
Even Maxine wouldn't let me dwell on it. "Well, it will happen." Now let's talk about your ten-year plan.
Okay. I see myself in a job. In a city. With too much to give and no one appropriate to receive it. Everyone is being taken away. I see myself collecting things, arranging them on shelves. Crying into ceramic things. I see myself collecting more things, and I keep them all to myself, in all of my pockets because no one ever comes over to see them. No one ever asks me where I got them from, where this came from, these things I hold. Sometimes I see myself dead but I don't know how I got there. The explanation is tucked away under a million other things that no one's tried to barter for. I will give you this for that.
THERE ARE THINGS I NEED TO TALK ABOUT WITH YOU. THERE ARE HOURS AND HOURS AND DAYS AND YEARS OF TALKING I NEED TO DO.