Thursday, February 7th, 2008
Give her hell from us, Peeves
There are two things in this world that immediately ruin my day without exception, and they both happened before 10 o'clock today: other people's hair and crossing the street.
Exhibit A: Your hair is disgusting to me. I admire it from afar, I obsess over it, I wonder if you use any products and what sorts of products I should use, but keep it the fuck away from me. I mean it. If that thing touches me, I'm going to strangle you with it, except I'm going to first put on gloves and sunglasses and then duct tape my own mouth because God help us all if it gets in my mouth. Finding someone else's hair on my person is like finding out that someone pooped in my shoe and I somehow didn't know about it until I put my hand in it later and thought, THIS DOESN'T FEEL FAMILIAR.
There are a few people in this world whose hair I could bear being near, but they are so few and far between that I can't even think of who they are, only that I am vaguely aware that the thought has crossed my mind at some point or another. But if you read this website, it is not you. And if you sit in front of me in class, I am GUARANTEEING IT IS NOT YOU. My issues with this girl stem from the fact that she never seems aware of things going on around her, particularly in the way of a sign up sheet being passed around. She'll be the first person in our row to get it, and then pass it to her left, because fuck tradition, right? Like why would you think that's the way it's supposed to go? Where has there ever been a classroom in which a teacher has asked you not to pass back but to pass to the SIDE enough times that you just assume this is the norm?
She has long red hair. It is not hair that I admire, even from afar. It began with a single strand on my desk that was clearly detached from her scalp but not quite from her head, and I considered gathering my sleeve around my fingers and just removing it for her. But then. She tossed her head back. She's the sort of person who wants her hair behind her shoulders, apparently, or at the very least ALL OVER MY DESK. And she just kept swinging it by tilting her head to the left and to the right and every time it crept back farther and farther, until it was literally halfway onto my desk and I was huddled in the corner of my seat, writing on the arm of the desk, trying not to gag. Every time she tilted her head, I had a physical reaction where I jerked back and rolled my eyes and went, "Tcheh!" I'm sure someone must have noticed, as this went on for an hour and a half.
Exhibit B: I used to have my mom loop around busy-ish roads like Main St. so that I could just get out and get on the sidewalk rather than having to cross the road. I did this every time she brought me to my guitar lessons, because I really don't like the sensation of parading across like I'm very important. I don't like the sound of a car accelerating just as I get out of the way (I also used to make my mom wait until I got in the car before she turned the ignition).
There are exactly three streets within the BC campus, and all of them are littered with crosswalks. You, little seafoam green jalopy, decided to arrive just as 9 o'clocks were getting out and students were heading for brunch. How can you think that you are not going to have to stop for someone? More importantly, how can you think that if you slow down and someone gives you the thank-you wave that you should probably speed up? I did the most exaggerated double-take ever as you just barely came to a halt right next to me (and not even! that was not a complete stop!), because I refused to believe that you were just going to keep going when I was already in the middle of the road.
These back-to-back series of events have so thoroughly ground my gears that I'm just not going to go to my 1:30. Everything can suck it.
Replies: 3 Comments
jenna said at 10:36 AM, 2.9.08:
I HATE PEOPLE WITH HORSE MANES. this girl in the nursing program has nasty dirty hair that goes down past her butt. It is really the most unheathly looking hair I have ever seen. Last spring semester she sat in front of me in anatomy. She would do the same behind the shoulder thing, but she also liked to take it from the front and run her hand through the crown of her head and push it onto my desk! ah so I turned to my friend Pat and was like what do I do?!?! so i had to take my pen and slowly move it off my desk; she didnt even feel it. That shit used to come so close to my iced coffee I would freak out and get as far back in my seat as possible and turn to write. sooooo grosssss. we refer to her as horse because unfortunetly for her, her hair is the only way we would ever notice her.
garv said at 09:31 PM, 2.10.08:
lol @ jenna
molly said at 11:14 AM, 2.11.08:
jenna needs a blog, stat.
Copyright 2007-2008 . Powered by .
