Saturday, April 26th, 2008
Post-SAD
Oh, what's that, Wacky Weatherman? You'd like to ruin my mood with a full on week of rain? I'd like to see you try. BEHOLD THE GIVING TREE.
It's just not going to happen. You're not going to bring me down, motherfucker. I don't care if I did kind of wish for a scarf walking home tonight, because it was my light scarf I was thinking of, which I totally intend to wear on summer nights anyway. This is the time of year when things come to life and I realize that there are always new things I want to learn.
I didn't play saxophone this year. This is the first time since the fourth grade that I haven't played it--that's eleven years! I haven't been able to figure out why I wasn't interested in it this year, because my excuses that "band's not fun" and "I'm afraid of being bad" and "I'm too busy" have always been big problems with me, but I've kept at it anyway. A friend of mine from high school that goes here kept insisting that I join something--marching, pep, symphonic, wind ensemble, anything--but it wasn't in me. Music has forever been an intricate part of my life, but not only have I had to describe myself as "between musics" for the past four years, I don't even want to play it anymore.
Fortunately, the annual Arts Festival has been going on here for the past two days, and for lack of a better word, I have found my inspiration. No one joined me at any of the shows I went to; I just wandered around O'Neill Plaza all day with my camera, enjoying the things that I knew other people would insist we not watch. There's still a day left, but in the meantime I've taken away a beautiful ceramic bowl, the faintest of farmer's burns, and the goal to learn the tin whistle.
The day I get home, I am going to buy a whistle and learn to play that thing like no other. And I don't care that that's sort of ridiculous and odd and does not help my Loner Awkward Maybe Gay image that I seem to give off wherever I go. The flowers are out and I don't care. There are so many things that I am interested in that none of my friends are interested in, and this is the time of year where I decide that I will not let other people stop me from pursuing things that I like. I like the Internet and making websites and following blogs and pursuing social networking that encourages creativity, I like going around with my camera however big it is and taking pictures when you're not looking, I like home design and the magazines and style guides that come with it, I like learning new crafts to do with my hands and working on them by myself, I like teaching myself things that no one else will teach me, I like being alone and accomplishing things because if there's one thing people do too much, it's wait for someone else to say, yes, that's normal, you may proceed.
Replies: 3 Comments
jenna said at 09:39 AM, 4.28.08:
I would have walked around with you! I feel the same way about doing what you like to do; it's not ridiculous and I don't care what other people think. I'm not a big fan of the close minded
katie kerr said at 01:52 PM, 4.28.08:
i completely agree. and, for the record, i used to take tin whistle lessons for a couple of years with my older brother. my dad's a member of the Ancient Order of Hibernians and one of his friends gave lessons in Plymouth. I haven't played it in years but right now, thinking about it, there is at least one song I can definitely still play. I don't know if you were planning on teaching yourself or not but I can find out if that guy still gives lessons. it was really fun.
thethinker said at 11:30 PM, 4.29.08:
Beautiful picture!
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