Sunday, June 22nd, 2008
Wellness
Cooking food has never been a strong suit of mine, as evidenced by the fact that I have never cooked a meal for myself or for anyone else. This almost certainly has to do with my picky appetite and a tendency towards processed, pre-made meals with colorful boxes (or does that stem from being unable to cook?). I can almost bake; by that I mean, if I were given a recipe, I could certainly make something and it would be decent, because every year at Christmas I help my mom make dozens and dozens of different cookies. But I have no real intuition around a stove. I once made myself a piece of baked chicken breast, a process that took an hour, and it was so horrifying and nerve-wracking that I couldn't taste it afterwards and gagged when eating chicken for months.
Starting in October, I have no choice but to cook. No matter where I end up living next year, Trinity does not have dining services the way BC does. If I plan on staying alive, I will need to provide for myself. Part of me is so tempted to just buy 100 cans of Spaghetti-O's, a loaf of bread, some peanut butter, and just wing it, but my health is questionable and I really don't think I can keep going in this direction. Working at an integrative medicine newsletter, I have been exposed to some interesting ideas, some of which I was already practicing (melatonin before bed), some that I will never touch (fish oil as a liquid instead of a pill--gag me), and some that I am really intrigued by (anti-inflammatory diet).
Nothing in my body seems to stay still, I never feel too well, and "inflamed" is a very appropriate term for how I react to things. I have this sense that the reason my eyes cannot take contacts for more than five hours is intricately related to what I consume. I also attribute this to my shallow breathing, the weakness in my shoulders after shooting a basket, and oh yeah, the fact that today at H&M I was a SIZE TEN. In addition, because my summer has gotten off to a much rockier start than I was prepared for, my anxiety is through the roof. A new phenomenon has begun: whenever I get outrageously angry or upset, my optical migraines kick in and I taste bile in the back of my throat, and my instances of clawing and screaming have returned with surprising force. With an increasing number of customers coming into the cafe bent on making me feel incompetent, the reality of never seeing or talking to friends for weeks at a time, and a dead cat whose memory just won't leave, only some sort of cleansing makes sense. I don't know yet how I am going to introduce the anti-inflammatory diet into my system, but I have plenty of time at work to research it.
The mental aspect of my body's sad state can sink to debilitating depths, but I seem to recover the fastest and the best when I have something productive to do. Today, I spent two hours rolling coins from tips, ending up with about $140. Then I cooked--spaghetti and meatballs, nothing fancy, but I got water to boil so I'm pleased as punch. Last week I hung up a new net on our basketball hoop and played for a half-hour, making in approximately 1.5 baskets. A whistle is in the mail. Before the summer started, I had a lot of goals. Silly ones, mostly, but goals nonetheless. Wasn't I going to teach myself a new instrument? And go on a ghost tour? Wasn't I going to have a delightful balance of work and fun? My trajectory has changed--things are not so sunny and possible anymore--but it's probably for the better, because now I can arrange a list of practical things to attempt this summer, now that June is nearly over. Having things to do, my nerves drip right out of my fingertips. For now.
- Go on an anti-inflammatory diet.
- Learn to cook for each meal of the day.
- Make ginger snapsssss!
- Teach myself a new instrument.
- Go on a ghost tour.
- Go to Six Flags at night.
- Go to a drive-in movie.
- Complete a jigsaw puzzle.
- Buy new luggage and air-compressing bags.
- Have an occasion to wear a bathing suit; feel comfortable.
- Shoot hoops before or after work, at least three times a week.
- Wear a dress.
Replies: 3 Comments
deedah said at 02:15 AM, 6.23.08:
dear mols,
here is a list from me to you:
A)that's a lot of change! i like the picture.
B)i think a ghost tour would be cool.. can i join?
C)i want to go to a drive in too, so i'm inviting myself.
D)i think you'd look damn fine in a bathing suit and/or dress. fuck H&M for being so weird with sizes.
that's all for now. peace, love, & smores.
looooooooove deeders.
garrrv said at 09:58 PM, 6.23.08:
oh hi mollyawesome.
ghost tour sounds lovely even tho i'd probs crap my pants. ah. and just like deeds i'm in on the drive-in movie fo realz.
also, about the cooking situation. cereal and oatmeal are good for breakfast, simple and delicious. grilled cheese is hard to fuck up so you should be good with that. and for dinner pasta is always a good choice because it's even harder to eff up than grilled cheez. however, i am not opposed to you dining on spaghetti o's the whole time you're there cuz those are just freaking delicioso.
Kage said at 04:28 AM, 6.29.08:
I read this a long time ago but neglected to comment because i got lazy.
6, 7, 10, and 12
I will be there for those...Id help you/teach you recipes but im assuming you want to figure that out on your own. And on the dress...iii want to be there when you buy ittt
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